ok but something just occurred to me
jack’s pre-game ritual is eating a pb&j
cause he’s had a pre-game ritual since he was a little kid.
maybe it’s what alicia made him before every game. or maybe it was the only thing he’d eat for several months, the way kids go through picky phases of only eating one or two things. or maybe he had one before he scored his first goal in whatever little league hockey thing he did and he grew up hearing about hockey superstitions and pre-game rituals and all that from bob so he began asking for one before every single game.
maybe it’s all he knew how to make himself when he got older, at the billet family’s house, on roadies. maybe it was the only thing he could concentrate on when his anxiety got so bad that his hands shook and his f
ace went numb.
maybe he couldn’t even smell peanut butter without gagging when he got out of rehab. maybe he didn’t touch his mother’s favorite jams and jellies the whole time he was coaching, filling out college apps, lying awake at night in his childhood bedroom, more empty than anxious.
maybe he was on his own tour of the haus as a frog and he wandered into the kitchen, the way bitty would two years later, and found a perfectly-made pb&j sitting on the counter (courtesy of johnson, who suddenly had to step out?) and the sight of it didn’t make him feel sick to his stomach.
(maybe, many years down the line, he’ll make himself one, very slowly, very carefully, and eat it as he waits for bitty to come home from work, absently toying with the small ring box in his pocket.)